the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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