I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
