i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize