it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the day after is always just damage control
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
