Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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