i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
