someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
