you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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