you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So much rum. So many feels.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
