Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
as a side note pls kill me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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