Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
