You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
where does the pee come out of this thing
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
