Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

We are so in love

(504): View more from Louisiana

so when's the next time you get to see your balls

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(516): View more from New York

she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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(757): View more from Virginia

And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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(734): View more from Michigan

How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

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(435): View more from Utah

Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.

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(408): View more from California

I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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(785): View more from Kansas

If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.

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(714): View more from California

Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.

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