Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
