i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
