Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
