your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize