her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you will always have a special place in my vag
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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