then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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