We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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