I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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