who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
