i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
