If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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