If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
