i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
