Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
