my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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