Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
