i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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