real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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