'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Randomize
