dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she told me i tasted like america
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We had to coat check the pizza.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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