i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
