the condom got lost in my hair
now i know why i became what i already was.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
