If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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