she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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