i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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