I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
