omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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