Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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