Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
