im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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