Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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