Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
