playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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