There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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