I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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