dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
