I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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