I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
