I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
