Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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