Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
