this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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