he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
