Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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