i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
