Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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