Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
