no, he came in my armpit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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