there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
