Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
