So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
