Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
